How to survive Christmas as a divorcee
If it’s your first Christmas since your divorce, you may be wondering how you are going to get through it. Don’t panic. Here are some useful tips to make your Christmas merrier.
Christmas is a time for family. It’s a time for tradition. But what if you aren’t with your family? What if your family has recently changed circumstances due to divorce? What if you can’t do what you have done for Christmas every other year?
There is enough pressure around Christmas as it is. Seeing everyone get so excited as they countdown to Christmas can bring a lump to your throat, particularly if you have children. You may be worrying about whether you can live up to what is expected of you. However, with some thought and planning, you can do it. Here are some tips on how to survive Christmas as a divorcee.
Put your children first
If you don’t have children, you can skip this part and move on to the next section. But children are so central to Christmas; it seems fair to talk about them first.
Christmas is not another Wednesday or Thursday. If you have an agreement with your ex-spouse around custody and contact with your children, it’s only fair that you make special arrangements for Christmas. Try to be amicable; it’s likely your ex-partner will be just as worried as you are.
Agree on a fair split for contact over the Christmas period and stick to it. Then, try and make your time with your children as special as possible. Whatever you do, don’t use Christmas as a way to put one over on your ex-partner, by seeing who can spend more money or buy the better presents. It will backfire and your children will feel like pawns in the game.
If you can’t be with your children on Christmas day, arrange a time for a phone call or video chat. You could also hold your own Christmas Day the next time you see them, with presents, Christmas dinner and all the things you used to do.
Embrace the new
While it may not be something you wanted to happen, or even your choice, divorce marks the end of one chapter in your life and the start of a new one. Christmas is going to happen, so why not create a new Christmas for your new life? You don’t need to observe the same traditions that you always used to, so plan a Christmas for yourself, that you will enjoy.
You could take a trip to somewhere you always wanted to go. This will get you out of the house, which may hold painful memories at this time of year, you’ll see other people and experience new things to take your mind off Christmas.
If you do stay at home, you could spend it doing things you don’t normally do; things you couldn’t do with a spouse and children in the house! Spoil yourself with a really big present!
The trick is to embrace the new. Your marriage has ended, but you are now no longer part of a broken partnership. The Christmas period will pass and you will be fine.
Plan ahead with Couchman Hanson
Like most things in life, Christmas after divorce will go more smoothly with some forward-planning and communication. When going through the divorce process, formalise arrangements for Christmas as part of the settlement. It means both parties know where they stand, with possible penalties if they break the agreement.
If you’re thinking of divorce, you need an experienced family lawyer on your side. At Couchman Hanson, our solicitors genuinely care about getting the best outcome for you. We’re highly professional, with ‘city’ level talent and experience, but also friendly and welcoming. Everything we do fits our values of integrity, honesty and authenticity.
If you would like to find out more, call Couchman Hanson on 01428 722189.